So, this weekend was an interesting one. I don’t like to get too personal here on the blog, as I feel that some things are best kept private. But, I will say, if only for the sake of remembering it later, that B and I started off the weekend by having our first ‘big’ disagreement over, what else, finances. In particular: my shopping habits. Which, to the normal person, would seem quite modest, if not downright humble. But which, to the medical-school-student-husband-budget, seemed overly ambitious and unnecessary this past weekend.
The culprit? Shoes.
Good sale shoes, mind you. In my own little blonde shopper mind, I thought I was making very wise decisions – by snapping up two pairs of adorable shoes at rock-bottom prices. The hubs did not agree. He simply saw two more sets of heels taking up room in the closet. A simple need vs. want scenario in which the 'want' obviously won. And you know what? He was right. In reflecting on our disagreement now, I know that I knew deep down that he was right the whole time, but I just didn’t want to admit it. I knew, from the minute I swiped the card, that the purchase wasn't a good decision. So what did I do? Attempted to sneak the shoe boxes into the house undetected. And when that didn't work? I argued with him. About how I work so hard and how I deserve to buy things for myself when I need them…need being the key word here. Basically, I threw myself a pity party and hoped the tactic would work on the husband. He responded by simply grabbing the receipts and taking the shoeboxes out to the car. Presumably to be returned. Then, he continued on with his tasks of washing our cars and puttering around the house like nothing had happened. Effectively ignoring me.
Pity party fail.
We did end up discussing the matter further. He understood that one pair of the aforementioned shoes was purchased specifically for the Doctor Prom event that was to occur later that night, to which I was planning on wearing the nude hose that I spoke of in an earlier post – a la Kate Middleton. Hence the need for some close-toed, appropriately ‘partyish’ pumps. What he did not understand was the decision to purchase the second pair of shoes. And no amount of my ‘pretty bows, sparkle factor’ explanation was getting through to him. All he could see was an unnecessary waste of money. After talking it through, we decided that the shoes would stay (I mean, the price really was too good to pass up), but that the purchasing would stop for the next couple of weeks. B’s main point in this disagreement being: just because we have it doesn’t mean you need to spend it. And I concur on that point.
In fact, I got to thinking about it further last night, and I realized that I was completely in the wrong here. Not for purchasing shoes per se, but for succumbing to the endless feeling of never having enough that plagues so many of us girls so much. The feeling that motivated me to even look any further once I had the ‘needed’ party pumps in hand. We truly can become bottomless pits of
needs er, wants, if we let ourselves. It is so easy to look into a fully stocked closet and come up with nothing but a feeling of “I need more.” I need those new shoes. I need that latest bag. I need that new eyeshadow palette (guilty as charged here). I need that perfume. To look at our beautiful homes and think they aren’t good enough. If I just had that dining set. If I could just get that serving bowl. If I could only afford Pottery Barn this or that. If I just had this (fill in the blank). More, more, more.
We are, in essence, complete “Gimme’ Gulches.” When I think of the proportion of things purchased for me versus things purchased for my sweet husband, it makes me sick sometimes. Just this past week, he purchased the remaining four sets of our (very expensive) fine china to complete our wedding registry. With no thought of himself. I know he did that for me. He could care less whether we had china or not. He is so simple and easy. Some of that just comes with the territory of being a female, but some of it is because we girls can be mindless consumers. Not all of us. And not all the time. But, admit it ladies, many of us are guilty of this. And is any of it worth a disagreement or fight with a loved one? Can an object ever be worth that? That's where I had to step back and take a look at what I had done. The fact that I had allowed two pairs of measly sale shoes to get between my husband and I brought so much shame. What kind of wife am I? We can never get those few wasted hours back. Life lesson learned.
At this point, I honestly wouldn’t be too sad to the see the offending shoes make their way from my closet and back to the sale rack from whence they came…
I didn’t plan on taking up a whole post to describe the disagreement that B and I had, but since I did, I will wait and do my weekly ‘Weekend Review’ tomorrow. And, have no fear, our weekend did get better after our Friday afternoon shoe debacle...
Adios! And Happy Monday!