Hosting a lifestyle blog isn't easy. It's personal. It's the sharing of your life. The offering up of details and information for others to see and bear witness to. I can honestly say that, most of the time, the responses to the things that I choose to share have been wonderful. I have relied so much on the support I have gotten from all of you lovely ladies. Your kind words have helped soothe on bad days and celebrate on good ones, your advice has provided much-needed wisdom in countless instances of decision making (which we all know I am not the best at sometimes), and your friendships have become invaluable to me.
Inevitably though, there comes a moment in which you wonder if maybe what you're sharing shouldn't be shared.
Mine came this past weekend. As a result of yet another anonymous comment from a mean-spirited blog reader who was responding to my confessions on Friday. The comment cut deep. Honestly, it really did. And my first instinct was to delete it. To erase the harsh words and try to forget them. I now wish that I hadn't, as I think it may have been good for some of you readers to see for yourselves. I won't go into detail, but I will just say this: There are some things you just DON'T say to a woman who's lost a pregnancy. And who is currently - and blissfully - pregnant again.
As a result of said comment, I began to think about the blog and what I've put on here. A cowardly comment coming from behind the computer screen of someone who obviously isn't (wo)man enough to own up to such despicable malice by putting a face to said words wouldn't normally have an effect on me. After all, I've gotten negative (always anonymous) comments before. All legit bloggers do at some point. In the past, they've always made me wonder, "If you disagree/dislike me and/or my blog so much, WHY do you read it?" No one's forcing anyone to read what I have to say. There are plenty of blogs that I follow, and while I don't always agree or expect to agree with everything in them, I never feel the need to belittle, condescend, demean or attack their writers. That's just not my style. Unfortunately for me, that is the style of one of my apparent readers. Who just keeps coming back for more.
While my original approach, upon reading the scathing words in the anonymous comment, was to scale back on what I choose to share with you, and the nature of the way in which I share things, I realized that this not the type of blogger I really want to be. If I'm going to share my life with you, I'm going to share my real life with you. And part of sharing this real life includes sharing of the bad days. The tough moments. The poor attitudes. The nitty-gritty.
So, instead of changing my writing style, or attempting to box my life into one perfect little rainbow of happiness and positivity - which I due strive for, but know realistically just can't be the case every minute of every day - I've made another decision. I've decided to disable anonymous comments. I never thought I would have to do this, but the day has come in which it just isn't worth it to me to continue to allow the no-names to spew their venom onto my little slice of the blogosphere.
To my anonymous commenter:
IF you are ever brave enough to actually put your face to your deplorable words, I will welcome your comments, hope to start some positive discussions, and maybe we'll both learn a little something. But, we both know you won't. So, au revoir. You won't be missed.
Oh, and if you've ever been blessed with the opportunity to be pregnant, you would know that - as my friend Drazil said - 'growing a human is tough as s*it.' It ain't easy and it would be doing everyone who reads this little blog a great disservice to pretend otherwise. Just so you know.
To the rest of you: Thank you.
From the bottom of my heart. For being such lovely inspirations and such a positive piece of every day. While I absolutely don't expect you all to agree with me or like what I have to say every day, I love you for never seeking to tear me down.
From the bottom of my heart. For being such lovely inspirations and such a positive piece of every day. While I absolutely don't expect you all to agree with me or like what I have to say every day, I love you for never seeking to tear me down.
11 comments:
I am so sorry that happened to you. Coward is the perfect word to describe such a horrible act. I hope you are able to move on from it and know that the majority of us have nothing but respect for you, sharing your thoughts and personal things. I admire your approach to speak out against these bullies that exist out there. xoxo
Glad you didn't let one person get you down. I have yet to get the anonymous mean comment yet. Its your blog so you vent, scream, whine, complain all you want!
It always amazes me to hear that people post such negative, horrible things! If you don't like it, exit out of the window and go read something else. I personally really enjoy your blog and am glad to know that you will continue to share your life with everyone. Hope you have a great week! :) xoxo
I hate anon commenters! :( So mean and just not necessary! I personally love how open you've been, and have really enjoyed reading your story!!
I had to take a moment and comment because I've been there, too!
Ugh, girl.. I'm sorry you had to experience that. What a mean spirited person. How do some people have the time and negative energy to leave mean comments on blogs? What a waste of their time and yours. I continue to read your blog because you are honest and kind. I enjoy the realistic approach to your writing and wish other bloggers followed suit!
Well done! I don't allow anonymous comments on my blog. Hate or love me, have the guts to show your name. I once had "someone" flip out on me for selling my C&B sofa and buying an IKEA one. She said I was un-American for doing so. Of course they didn't leave a name. The best blogs are the ones written by people who are themselves-- and that is what you are. Never apologize for that. And btw, as you pointed out, you are growing another person inside of you-- that is hard work lady. Have a great day!
I was legitimately thinking of writing this same post. Not prompted by any mean bloggers, but just trying to stay conscious that my blog is public and ANYONE can read it. My employer, my Pastor, my family members. It's hard for me to be anything but 100% honest when I write, but I really have to try to be mindful of how much I expose. I've had to bite my tongue on more than one occasion for saying just a little too much!
You know, even though my blog is anonymous, I still worry about someone finding it because it's so deeply personal so I can't imagine the concern the public bloggers face. I admire ANYONE who blogs because just like pregnancy - it's tough as sh*t! xoxo
It's really rough when that happens isn't it. What the worst is that it just makes no sense because it's so frustrating to think that people could be that rude and cowardly all at the same time.
I had the same thing happen to me on mine it was just from one of my "friends" in real life. I disabled them as fast as I possibly could. No shame in that!
you go girl!!!!! As I learned while living in the south "bless her heart, she can shove it!" ;)
I'm SO sorry that you received a horrible comment responding to your loss of a baby. That is so despicable. But honestly, I think all they want is attention. They obviously don't get enough of it in their every day lives, so they go around picking on people who don't deserve it.
Keep your chin up girl! :D
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